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November 23 加法和减法又到holiday shopping season了，和去年一样，因为recession的缘故，今年的holiday sales来得也很早。我自然受不了这样的诱惑，所以三天两头家门口就堆了ups或者fedex的包。NM的服务很不错，每次送货了后都会voice mail通知。但虽然如此，我对买了的一个包和几件juicy couture的小东西并不是很满意。（虽然还是留下了几件）。准备有空就去退。burberry还是我喜欢的，而且貌似这几年我越发变成他家的忠实买家了。也许key words就是classical吧。最近买的一件要了gift package，结果送了一个狂大的盒子，我懊恼以前都要gift packge好了，袋子从来没啥用处，但大盒子我刚好可以装东西塞在床底下。最后还是又买了la mer的cream，（某次冲动的买椟还珠），因为用它就不breakout了，可是突然发现我的信用卡本月额度大大超支，决定还是有空去退掉好了。（最重要的是bathroom还有一堆skincare的产品没用过，目前用的是clarins，还算满意）。唯一头痛的是要figure out怎么退la mer的产品，因为从来没退过。网上也没说。打电话过去cs估计又要一堆好说。
继连续两个周末在家整理东西，今天特地拿了一天的假整理衣服。结果一下子就理了整整一天，本来计划下午去ymca也没去。而且jackets，suits, pants和大衣都是原来就挂在几个closets没有变过的。今年已经捐过两次衣服，这次已经非常精简，基本上没啥可以捐了。不过翻看前两年的旧衣服，好像有些旧衣服又可以重新派一点用场了，比如买来从来没穿过的一条碎花雪纺，好像可以配靴子牛仔装；几年前在弗洛丽达度假买的RL的暗红格子，今年重新流行格子蛮好可以早点穿的。还有在瑞士买的（只穿了一次的）胸前有玻璃碎钻的t-shirt，仿佛我从jcrew前两个月买的都是这种式样。看来recession的shopping，首先得要shopping at my own closet，在决定买什么之前，决定要减什么才是更重要的。
最basic&fundemental的加减法还是在gym里完成好了——more muscle, less fat。我终于开始用lose it的iphone application开始记录每天的卡路里收支，并且不无得意地想，如果BJ当年有iphone，那她的生活估计会美妙很多。（当然，renee zellweger最近可是瘦的惊人阿，不知道她是怎样拍BJ日记３的）。 November 14 ikea经历有一段时间没有去ikea了，每次去都忍不住买一点东西。惊奇的发现，其实很多在宜家购物的都是其他种族的人（即非美国白人），大声若无其事的吵吵嚷嚷说着本国的语言的亚裔，hispanic，东欧人，黑人，比比皆是。某人说，大约是因为都是在外的缘故，反而对家的期待更加迫切。我自然有我plain conservative的理解：哪里，是因为宜家在美国的branding更加偏cheap，即是walmart类型，所以真正的中产阶级才不要把自己和它相连在一起。记得有一次采访michelle obama，问她是否去walmart买东西，她的表情有些怪，说，target才是我一般购物的地方。我心想，还是暴露的吧是吧，小资阿，target的fashion branding还做得真不错。这个反应，和我mba班上的同学一模一样，一直到有个（摩门教的）真正中西部的同学说：hey, what's wrong with walmart?
我个人的认识——基于我自己真正的认识，ikea还是一个非常creative，versatile，ever-changing的品牌店。每次我一定要买一点东西的——并不是它的家具，而是它的食品。我非常感动ikea的管理层不远万里的把瑞典的食品设一个柜台，商业价值估计是寥寥，那种思乡的心情，真的是相通的。一点点黑巧克力，一点点海鲜，一点点在美国看不到的奇怪的水果果酱，都能有那么一点瑞典的意思。虽然瑞典（或者说斯德哥尔摩）不是我的那杯茶，但这并不影响我对ikea的热爱。或者说，真因为宜家的存在，反而增加了我对瑞典的好感。
这次购物我随便拿了一本它的catalogue，以前没有注意过，这次发现每一种新的设计都加了设计师的名字，而且是北欧名字居多。我想这些设计师一定很自豪被认可（相比之下，target的设计师除了特别有名的那些以外，根本是看不到名字的）。其实北欧家具简单大方在各个国家都挺一致，不见得瑞典比其他国家更强，比如丹麦哥本哈根机场就是木地板，设计简练大方，是我最impressed的机场。论森林资源，估计芬兰是更富足的一个国家，可只有瑞典出了一个ikea。
突然发现我其实把ikea更看作target了，两者都是来自苦寒之地，不知道气候对人有没有影响。
最后要说，其实有相当多的ikea的家具质量还是相当不错的。而且很多也强调环境保护，节约能源。
我自己的ikea家具，真在陪伴我走过第六个年头。我想我对ikea的家具还会一直买下去吧。
October 18 第一个三分球我没有运动细胞众所周知，不过和大部分中国女生比可能也不算那样糟糕。和大部分中国孩子一样，我们从小就不在一个sports friendly的环境里，没有机会，也没有得到鼓励去play sports。可惜目前我不在大部分中国女生在的领地，而且更重要的是我不以此为豪。相反，我喜欢brag我当年大学800米跑出3分2秒的最好成绩。虽然如此，我的协调性，柔韧性，肌肉的强度，就算在中国女生中也只算平平的。我至今仍然记得大学里打排球只能将将及格的样子，真是耻辱阿。
我终于可以证明，运动当然是一种天赋，但如果没有很强的天赋的，假以时日，给予一定的exercise，是一定可以突破的，就算我没有做到那magic的3000hours ,which turns out be successful in almost any arena, sports included。
在过去两个夏天，因为身处运动资源从来不稀缺的美国，篮球是我们最经常的运动之一，所谓经常，不过是在新泽西短暂的夏天，在晴朗，有闲，有心情，两个人都在7点之前到家的某个weekday的傍晚，太阳不是太热也不是太刺眼，我们去家门口的场地去投篮。我自己的目标，通常是10个，后来变成20个，不过也从来没有达到过30个。也就是说，我的投篮技术，还是下下水平。
这也不妨碍我欣赏nba的投篮，虽然很少，也不成为我喜欢听周杰伦的“漂亮的假动作“的阻碍，心知那是在唱人人喜欢的乔丹。
今天是去ymca运动的第五天，我们sign up的主要原因是因为他们漂亮的篮球场，和同样漂亮的游泳池（阿，我也不会游泳，虽然在过去的几年我每年都要去划船若干次，而且，还是稍稍有点难度的那种，但，不是一定都要穿救生衣的么。会不会游泳有啥要紧？）。因为时间的缘故（我们也不比任何人忙），我们从来没有机会光顾泳池。篮球场每天倒是人满为患。第一天是30多个小男孩在练习，一堆大人是coach。第二天，8点多去，还是那群小朋友。第三天，是一群貌似半专业的teen女生，而且每个都非常高大。第四天，小朋友又出现了。我和某人哀叹，不知道是多少major league和minorleague在训练阿。
今天去的目的是没有目的，只是这五天下来，还非常愉快。我自己hop on, hop off各个gym的项目很多次，深知人性惰性，status quo，缺乏incentives和penalty的弱点。所以这几天不给自己定太aggressive的目标，只先培养兴趣为主。等到我第三次（这一生第三次）打回力球的时候，居然还能够接起来一个，简直是意外。貌似是比wii的网球要好玩很多啦。
没有期待的今天突然发现篮球场完全是空的，一个完整的可以打全场的场地，和5个篮球架，都归我们了！在这样的喜出望外下，我居然——居然打出我生平第一个三分球，而且，这还不算，在完全没有风速，没有阻拦，弹性极好的木地板篮球场里，我还来不及自我怀疑是不是运气，接下来打出了第二个，and 第三个三分球。真是零的突破！
幸而好运气到此为止，但我还是很开心，是以为纪。 March 09 Summer Time First DayToday is the first working day of the summer hours. That is something I have really hated the Bush Administration...among the very few actually I dislike that administration, different from the general public. With the claim of saving energy, that administration pushed the summer hours start well ahead of other countries, and end it much later than most of the other countries. Other countries, I mean, the Europeans.
Anyway, for the next three weeks, we are going to have 5 hours instead of 6 hours difference from the mainland Europe. I cannot believe the "summer" should start now - after all, we just had our heaviest snow one week ago, for god's sake, it is by no means summer.
This summer hour will last until end of October, by then, we should have had our first snow.
If there is anything o8 could do (haha, here is something new to refer to the new administration. o8), that is to pass a law allowing the summer hour actually starts in the real summer.
(after a tiring summer hour first working day) January 17 寒冷的冬天在用了国内的抗生素三天，每天8片药没有任何效果后，我用了洋人的generics（Pfizer91年出的z-pack)，只两片就让我的耳朵发炎好了大半。又多了一项不回国的理由。
（外国的月亮永远是圆的）。
（我非常惊奇，明明有更好的，也不贵，为啥在中国就没有呢？一次两片，每天8颗药，多不人道多不友好的疗法。这样大的剂量下去，对病没啥好处，副作用倒是可能有一大堆。anyway，也许人习惯了没有效率，没有效果，真的有作用了反而是惊奇的事情）
（以前在国内的时候，常常感冒发烧，每次都挂大瓶，几乎要一个月才能好。居然也习惯了）
这两天特别冷，不过家里一例开７０度，我这样说很多人骇笑。因为大部分人家里只开５０－６０度，还说太热了对身体不好。我心知那是因为她们心疼暖气费，办公室天天开７０度以上怎马没有人说热？谁说美国人不小气，有director连公司吃剩的pizza也要巴巴的带回家去给小孩做晚饭吃。吃相不要太难看。这个姿态和有没有太多钱（那个人家的小孩是上私立学校的）阿人种阿（白人黑人中国人都有）估计是没有太多关系的，我是受不了要轻视的。不过就暖气这件事情，我也就住公寓才硬嘴。我只好糟蹋自己说啊那是我童年阴影，不能再在冬天受一点点冷。还真的成功转移注意力，自然有人来同情发展中国家的可怜了。
我们给维修打电话，因为水管下不去了，维修的人迟迟不来，原来更多的人家连热水都停了。
The Dutchess的画面居然非常好看。可惜故事没有任何高潮。1）小三做成这样也是不容易。2）古代的女人真可怜。3）不管怎么说，她看上的男生还是不错的，连情夫也是prime minister。
Whiisper of Heart没有宫崎骏的其他片子好看 November 26 finally - thanksgivingTry to type in Chinese but failed.
I have been too busy at work in the last few weeks, even though fruitless.
Anyway I have still vacation days left for this year, and I had to work from home today. I guess I was too excited with my WII sports to control my balance - I fell.... After 2+ weeks, my weight stayed in the +-2 pound range...no change...
November 16 One week after WII Fit - Does Wii fit help lose weightAfter owning my wii for one week, I am pleased to announce that there are certain progress that I have made on my fitness plan.
Stats:
11/16/09 (8 days after being a proud wii owner)
BMI: (-0.44)
Weight:(-2.6) - of course I can argue that is within the normal variation you would see within one day
Fitness age:(-6) which is a silly tool
Total exercises hours: 10 hours - I probably spend over half a time on yoga, anyway, to lose weight was not my primary intention, I just need a tool to help me exercise. From that perspective, Wii certainly fulfills that. I have not changed my diet habit very much, everyday I probably took one or two cookies or a few chocolate bars, nevertheless, I certainly no longer have too much time eat after dinner time...devoting myself to Wii exercises instead.
Key takeaway-
February 05 Live my lifeLife is always more dramatic than a drama.
One of my colleagues retired at year 55 and she was ready to embrace the retirement life. However, she did not even have ONE day to enjoy it. The night she was going to retire the next day, she was admitted to ER and diagnozed late stage of cancer. It is less than one month from the day she was diagnosed, and the doctors said they ran out of the options. Insurance company is no longer willing to pay for some of her medication...
I could not believe it would happen to HER. She has worked for a big Pharmaceutical company for 20 yrs, and we are in the US, and we are close to the most advance technology on cancer treatment development. Personally, we know more cancer treatments than most people in the country. As a company, we ourselves offer a few great cancer drugs for FREE for our employees. However, it did happen...it is almost like a joke, however, a sad joke.
Unfortunately, our body is really not ample to undergo all the changes, as our brains have done. I have no doubt, one day, the computers may replace the weak human body, or the genenetic improvement may advance to provide options for human bodies. However, as of today, we have no options, but to live our life, to its full capacity, every day, as if there was no tomorrow. January 10 I am tiredThe job is boring, yet it still took so much energy away from me. Things like the stupid Genentech email account does not acccept excel attachment could take at least half an hour time from me. Other stupid things include people asking reports that never exist. Sales people are sales people, they always believe as long as they ask often enough, eventually they will get what they want. come on, exercise your sales techniques to the Drs., not me! The other jokes include people left company asking about their contest awards. Never heard about it! You have to be an EMPLOYEE to receive an award. Americans are thick-face or American salesman are sickface.
Although I always wanted to write when I was in office, I was completely exhousted when back home. I really wanted to write my trip, the recent DVDs and the book that I would read. However....as a result, I only wrote gabbage as above. November 13 医疗保险最近是新的一年benefits enrollment的日子，公司小气算是到了可耻的地步了，首先是选择减少，然后是cash back的option不再有。研究了半天各种plan，几乎都要定HSA了，因为某人要不断的吃过敏药和失眠药还是只好选择了ppo。这个无非是双刃剑，如果美国药品不是那样贵，也没有我们药厂那末多年的繁荣。只是接下来会怎样，谁也不知道。
May 26 insomniaPoor B2 attended a so called sleep therapy because of his long-time insomnia. (why Novartis does not develop a pill for this and then we can get it for free?). Unfortunately, despite of the high-cost ($5,000 per night), he came back with a non-sleep night.
Anyone who has watched "External Sunshine of Spotless Mind" may have an idea of what I am talking abt. For people like me, I can of course go to sleep even without a dozen of external interruption, but it really sounds a very bad idea for people like B2.
Hug hug B2 - poor hubby.
May 20 周末小记本周是近期以来比较忙碌的一周，虽然没有去san diego出差，但还是得从focusvision看访谈。z产品又开始有projects(pl pls note!)，死马当做活马医，但是是不是repeatable非常让人怀疑。好像一剧本明明到了结尾却不能，到底从上市以来那末多 business dollars也不能就这样浪费。6 yrs, it was a legend that actually there was marketing in pharma; however when it comes to make a different decision, it still relies on the individual to push it forward.
as for the L product that I am working on, finally my vendor made it work. I still felt not completely in place to work with this marketing team and their agency - surprisingly it is harder to work with people lack of experiences (even I am not that experienced either), and it took ages to get the chemistry working. ----be patient..be patient..and it will be paid off
As a result the plan of going to Europe in late June earlier July might not be working! Conflict of times...I still need to figure out if I can go once I have the schedule of product R (see now I am working on three products)
I went skating yesterday and fell down
December 12 my healthI feel that I am very much emtionally distressed from the pending...pending offer. If that continues, I do not think it does any beneift to my health. My mentional health. I would be a fool if I choose to suffer than let my health be the way it should be.
Fundementally, or first of all, I need to be healthy. I am too stressed with myself.
On one hand, I am so happy with the possibility that we finally would get togther. I have been too lonely in the last few years. I do not like it. On the other hand, I had been very upset with the possiblity that I may go back to my hubby without a job. I thought that for a while and felt very uphappy but still struggled to adjust. Until the day my hubby told me that he was being laid off. I realized in order for this family to move on, at least one of us needed to work, and given our situation, we BOTH need to work.
At the very minimum, I do not dislike my work. I am not happy with myself however because I am not sure where it would lead me to. I am probably the most insecure person I ever know. I need to be proved and to be recognized. August 07 继续感冒中我已经烦了我的一再感冒，可是还是发生了。
hopefully my immune system will be of any help in the near future - otherwise I cannot have a good vacation in a week.
今天收到一封很古怪的email，现在真是乱了，网上什莫人都有。我也没法来判断人是好人还是坏人。
我自以为的女儿（或者儿子）再一次嘲笑一般的擦肩而过——有的时候我想，其实我不过想做一个很普通的人而已，只不过想要做一些自己想做的事情，作一些人人都能做的事情——但是为什么总是不能够如愿呢？难道是我要求真的太高。
看小宝总是患得患失，即便是很小的事情，我真的于心不忍。我不希望他变成这个样子的。
如是在中国，我们自然有别的烦恼。小小的你我无法改变的如空气肮脏，交通拥挤，安全很差，噪音等等。我不知道和今天的烦恼比，孰轻孰重。总算还可以说，是，我只要努力，便还有一线希望。
（在工作中，我的心越来越硬了，几乎是冷了. 但是人人都如此，我不这样做肯定是我的损失） August 06 Rain all-day-longSince the hottest day a couple of weeks ago (lasting about 3 weeks), it has rained all day and all night.
Strange enough, I DO like this weather - I said long time ago that the familarity creates beauty - now it goes. It reminds me the 黄梅季节 back to China. Except for the fact that I cannot go outside (well, I do not wnat to go out because of my nasty cold-YES, again, I have had a cold), I am perfectly fine with a weekend of doing nothing at home.
As in the last two years in Switzerland (I just passed the second year anniversary of being in this Country), I am waiting for my immune system to work to fight for the virus - if any and hopefully my cold will go away before my vacation.
I started reading Personal Finance articles - with some idle money in the bank and with the volatility of the currencies, I have to learn that - again, shame on me, despite of the fact that my previous major was in finance, I knew the concept and even forgot them, left alone to apply them in practises - I know how poor I had been as an investor in Chinese stock market - I put the same money in back to 1999 and with the same money out that year
 Checklist for next week:
ANd sh*t, I did not realize that I have such a long checklist - last but not least, check with Alice Berlinger on my application status. It is going nowhere at this moment July 27 下雨了今年夏天特别热，欧洲的好处又少了一桩。今天终于下雨了，我心里一下子舒服了很多
 我第一次知道原来我也是喜欢下雨的，到底是南方人啊。上午是每年一次的open space meeting，不同的是Kurt Graves把ebeling也请来了。果然是德国人，风度气势又是完全不一样的。我忘了他是不是作marketing出身，发现真不好看。不过男人专著工作总是美的。做leader的显然还是很不一样。John glasspool老早忘了我是谁了，不过我们在一个组开会的时候他还是对我相当欣赏。哎，我为什么没有机会去他的组呢?我们组的数任大老板好像就没有过欣赏我的时候
 当然CVM一直不缺资源。我也算倒霉了——如果我不打算回美国，我还有争取机会。现在就只有半年时间，我还是把手里的项目一个个作完算了。和marketing的人相比，我还是口舌不够凌厉伶俐  我觉得我对自己太放松，也没有什莫大志向和要求。今天和cvm的那个人说话，原来Kurt是那种要花150%功夫做事情的人。哎，they certainly got their moments, but is that worth it?June 12 Gym experiencesI started gym earlier this year but it is not until recently that I used it more often - yeah, that is related to the additional weight that I put on.
To be fair, and to make myself disappointed, I did not lose weight because I ate more than in the past
 However, I did become more energetic and my body likes gym :) In the past two months (except for the continuous public holidays), I have been to the gym 2-3 times every week, and I am feeling great.
I tried to work out more of the energy - now I started running at 6.2-6.4 MPH (well, started from today) and I ran 28 minutes for 4.5 KM. I could have done more if I did not go there so late. At the end, I felt so awful and almost sick - and I realized that is the natural reaction of the body - because I felt exactly the same when I started running a few weeks ago, I felt sick after 2.5 KM by running at 8.8.-9.0KM/H - then I ran at 9.5KM/H, 9.8KM/H in the last two weeks (from 3m to 5-6mile), and now I am @6.2KMPH, which is 10.5KM/H. I am truly proud of myself.
 It means that human body has the potential to be worked out - and I am in the right direction.
There are a few individuals whom I met in the gym very often and truly fit. And, the %age of the fitness in the gym is higher than the workplace in general. I still admire those Europeans. Once I started the gym exercises I found so many people around me used gym - which kind of faciliated the conversation. On the other side, I frequently encounter the same faces in the gym - which is again a little bit interesting.
Hope it will continue to be a good one.
May 14 减肥？在我吵吵嚷嚷了n多久，估计所有人都应该知道我要减肥的事情了。
我是眼睁睁的看着我自己的体重从52，54，55。。。到几个礼拜前的60kg
 。幸亏这两天又降回58。但是无论如何，我也不能这样继续下去了——我的小肚子鼓鼓的，穿衣服真难看。 长胖的原因，太简单了，欧洲的甜食呗。我仗着一时间基数还好，从不忌口。每天午后和晚上一定是有甜食，而且是热量最高的那种。过去两年的名言都是“人生苦短，先上甜品“。而且周围的瘦子不多，我肆无忌惮一定是咖啡+蛋糕或者乳酪类甜点——在人家只是一杯清茶的时候。哎，都是我自己的错阿。
要减下去真不容易啊。开始嚷嚷减肥了，晚上的食欲突然好了起来：早上醒的太晚，当然没胃口，中午匆忙，常常是三明治，晚上回到家8，9点当然非常非常的饿
我意识到自己古怪的饮食作息的时候，更加明白为何会胖了。到了这个年龄（30岁和24岁还是有巨大的差别的），体力没有以前好，代谢也减慢，如果不去work out，精力肯定是下降趋势。就这个我还是很羡慕欧洲人的，早上跑步的时候，自己的步伐多沉滞我都不好意思再跑下去，哎。那个前面轻松的跑着的人，至多只是当年的我罢了。（不过在室外跑步真的比在跑步机上困难多了）。但是虽然如此，我也知道这个work out的习惯还是要坚持下去。
希望7月的时候能够重新回到55kg，这个目标不应该太难吧。
May 06 Late night by myselfAfter the trip to Brussles, I was pretty happy as I realized that I could enjoy myself very much even on my own.
The aftermath is not a done deal yet - as an extreme example, I did not go to sleep until 6am this morning. I have not done that for a while, neither did I do that intentionally, and I did not feel very much fun out of that. I was at home by myself, internet - until the last minute I was really completely exhausted - I went to sleep.
As usual, waking up at 7:30am - my biological clock works too perfectly since the US (April 19th back) and the Brussles (May 1th back) trip - it kills me - so here I am, cloudy Saturday morning, still headache, but awake now - I should make the trip anywhere this weekend, whether it it Lyon or Milan
And to make things worse - everything sticks to my mind as usual - as I feared in the first place.
And, I am not 20's - I am 30-yr-old, and I still just did such a childish thing - sit up late until 6am. When was the last time? I remembered I did work until 3:30am and also did my project on MBA until 4am though. I am still running myself as crazy.
My body did not respond very well - obvisouly - it did nore harm than good by sleeping late.
Will not do that again - to myself.
P.S.
在ally mcbeal里面，因为有ally的存在，billy couple的关系微妙了很多。其中有一点是billy更加sensible, 他愿意花更多的时间和ally在一起但不是physical relationship，而是另一个angle的perspective， but certainly it is probably not fair to ally, the winner might be billy - or not, he might be struggling too - not fair to Geogia either.
我会来比较自己的relationship。当然，我远远没有到了ally的地步。能够让我思考的不过是重新审视自己认为是对的或者下意识做的选择——where is my rationals and why I did so。多一个人肯做我的听众或者sounding board不是很容易的事情，I appreciate that and feel grateful too。 I did not admit, but it provides me an important perspective which I never see in the past.
So thank you, whomever u were and whomever u r.
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